ABOUT JESSICA BENZ
Acting is a thrill. There's nothing quite so liberating as putting on a character and exploring life from another perspective. At eight years old, I had my first big role; I starred as Goldilocks in our Third Grade class play. (Haha...it seemed like a big deal at the time!) I was hooked.
In High School, while most kids earned “letters” in sports, I earned a “letter” in Drama. (Thank you, Mr. Smeltzer and Mr. Lambie!) But I didn’t go on to major in Theater Arts in college, honestly, because I was scared of failure. As my parents lovingly pointed out again and again, actors as a population don’t have the best track record of success. So I did the sensible thing.
I went to college and became a teacher. I knew I’d love spending my days with children, supporting them and helping them succeed. Not willing to completely abandon my dream, I fit in all the performing arts units I could though. Shoot, I even spent two years playing kazoo in the HSU Marching Band (trust me, there are stranger instruments now; a recycled prosthetic leg percussion piece (donated by it's owner) comes to mind.) Four years later, I was a proud graduate with a B.A. in Liberal Studies and a Multiple Subjects Teaching Credential.
The following fall, I had my own class of shining First Grade faces to call my own. It was wonderful. It was exhausting. It was humbling. Not a day went by that I didn’t feel I had failed my students or parents or teaching team or myself in some way and it scared me. I wanted to do everything “right” and every day I’d reflect and strive to do better. By the end of year one, I knew that my students deserved a better reading teacher and I set my sights on an M.A., this time in Language and Literacy, and a Reading Specialist Credential too.
Have you ever sat with a struggling reader and listened to him or her read? It’s painful. It’s painful for everyone involved. Even after becoming a Reading Specialist, with a TON of tools in my reading instruction tool belt, reading for some of my students was still immensely challenging. They struggled every single day with books, reading sound by sound, word by word, requiring so much effort that by the end sometimes they had no idea what the story was about at all. It was like asking an ant about the lawn when all he can see is a few blades of grass at a time. Meanwhile, they’d watch friends around them whizzing through books with a smile. So hard.
I went to college and became a teacher. I knew I’d love spending my days with children, supporting them and helping them succeed. Not willing to completely abandon my dream, I fit in all the performing arts units I could though. Shoot, I even spent two years playing kazoo in the HSU Marching Band (trust me, there are stranger instruments now; a recycled prosthetic leg percussion piece (donated by it's owner) comes to mind.) Four years later, I was a proud graduate with a B.A. in Liberal Studies and a Multiple Subjects Teaching Credential.
The following fall, I had my own class of shining First Grade faces to call my own. It was wonderful. It was exhausting. It was humbling. Not a day went by that I didn’t feel I had failed my students or parents or teaching team or myself in some way and it scared me. I wanted to do everything “right” and every day I’d reflect and strive to do better. By the end of year one, I knew that my students deserved a better reading teacher and I set my sights on an M.A., this time in Language and Literacy, and a Reading Specialist Credential too.
Have you ever sat with a struggling reader and listened to him or her read? It’s painful. It’s painful for everyone involved. Even after becoming a Reading Specialist, with a TON of tools in my reading instruction tool belt, reading for some of my students was still immensely challenging. They struggled every single day with books, reading sound by sound, word by word, requiring so much effort that by the end sometimes they had no idea what the story was about at all. It was like asking an ant about the lawn when all he can see is a few blades of grass at a time. Meanwhile, they’d watch friends around them whizzing through books with a smile. So hard.
I kept on teaching, reflecting, and celebrating with those struggling readers at every success along the way. It was immensely gratifying, but the very best part was how much my students taught me. They taught me the kind of steadfast determination that it takes to achieve the impossible and I paid close attention.
Watching these kids, I saw how much of success isn’t about innate ability but about effort and perseverance. This seems like an obvious statement, I know. But for me, a goody two-shoes schoolgirl to whom school came easily and who viewed failure as something to be concealed, this was truly a revelation. I watched those struggling readers fail day in and day out along the way to success. And I realized, as is so much easier from the outside looking in, that it doesn’t matter how much you fail.
In fact, the worst thing those kids could do on their journey to succeed was to be afraid to fail. Kids who avoided reading, or pretended to read above their level for status, had the hardest time making progress. It was those amazing kids that bumbled along, ego in check, always trying their best that made the greatest strides. Those special kids taught me that YOU WILL SUCCEED, little by little, no matter how hard the task, despite ridiculous numbers of failures, if you just keep trying every day. So, with a thankful heart, I took note from my students' lessons on life and closed my classroom door to follow my passion.
Watching these kids, I saw how much of success isn’t about innate ability but about effort and perseverance. This seems like an obvious statement, I know. But for me, a goody two-shoes schoolgirl to whom school came easily and who viewed failure as something to be concealed, this was truly a revelation. I watched those struggling readers fail day in and day out along the way to success. And I realized, as is so much easier from the outside looking in, that it doesn’t matter how much you fail.
In fact, the worst thing those kids could do on their journey to succeed was to be afraid to fail. Kids who avoided reading, or pretended to read above their level for status, had the hardest time making progress. It was those amazing kids that bumbled along, ego in check, always trying their best that made the greatest strides. Those special kids taught me that YOU WILL SUCCEED, little by little, no matter how hard the task, despite ridiculous numbers of failures, if you just keep trying every day. So, with a thankful heart, I took note from my students' lessons on life and closed my classroom door to follow my passion.
I crossed into my own personal field of dreams and committed to becoming a professional film and television actor. Just as I expected, I failed over and over again. In fact, in my first full year as “talent” I went out on over 50 auditions, driving 180 miles for each, and landed NONE. I couldn’t have done that at the age of 20. I would have been crushed. But along the way I’ve had successes too and I’ve celebrated them with my family and friends. I’ve landed lead roles for Discovery Channel's "I Faked My Own Death," and film festival shorts. I’ve also booked commercial and industrial work, some webisode appearances on SMOSH.com, and even worked briefly with Jason Segel while playing Lizzie Gray in “The Five Year Engagement.”
And here’s the very best part…when I’m not acting, I get to teach. As of October 2012, I am a certified CA Studio Teacher working with kids in the entertainment industry and looking out for their best interests. It's the combination of my dreams. It allows me lots of time to be an actor and to be a Mom and also gives me the satisfaction of knowing that I’m doing right by kids and families and fulfilling a valuable role for productions.
I’m still striving to tell stories in film as an actor. I drool over comedies, hoping to make it on a sit-com or comedic feature one day. I have a lot going against me and I still face failures, but I’m not scared anymore. With the support of family and friends, a wonderful agency, and the example of steadfast determination from the young readers in my life, I’m committed to keep pushing forward every day.
Update 5/19/2020: For anyone who has read this far, wow! Your reading stamina is to be commended. Haha! It's been a minute since I updated so here goes. As much as I LOVED working "full time" in the industry, it wasn't sustainable so after four years of that life I'm ***drum roll*** back in the classroom! I still Studio Teach and work as an actor throughout the year working around my school schedule. I love teaching my classes of four and five year olds and I super love the financial stability that gives me peace of mind so that I can enjoy industry opportunities fully as they present themselves.
I’m SO thankful to be following my dreams. And, hey, if you’re curious about where this journey takes me, please take a quick second to connect. Visit, follow, LIKE, or just send some good vibes.
I hope all YOUR dreams come true too. I’d love to hear from you!
I’m still striving to tell stories in film as an actor. I drool over comedies, hoping to make it on a sit-com or comedic feature one day. I have a lot going against me and I still face failures, but I’m not scared anymore. With the support of family and friends, a wonderful agency, and the example of steadfast determination from the young readers in my life, I’m committed to keep pushing forward every day.
Update 5/19/2020: For anyone who has read this far, wow! Your reading stamina is to be commended. Haha! It's been a minute since I updated so here goes. As much as I LOVED working "full time" in the industry, it wasn't sustainable so after four years of that life I'm ***drum roll*** back in the classroom! I still Studio Teach and work as an actor throughout the year working around my school schedule. I love teaching my classes of four and five year olds and I super love the financial stability that gives me peace of mind so that I can enjoy industry opportunities fully as they present themselves.
I’m SO thankful to be following my dreams. And, hey, if you’re curious about where this journey takes me, please take a quick second to connect. Visit, follow, LIKE, or just send some good vibes.
I hope all YOUR dreams come true too. I’d love to hear from you!